A Little Less
by MakoRain
Summary: He was a little less after everything that had happened...he could never be enough for her. A look into Cloud's mind when leaving.


A/N: I'm having a bad day and this is the only way I can think of to make it better. I know this concept has been sorely overplayed but I couldn't let it go. I've revived it in the only way I know how. Set in the time gap between the game and the movie.

Disclaimer: I own nothing FFVII. I credit Shinedown's "Call Me" for this story's background music.

**"A Little Less"**

By MakoRain

He would miss this.

No matter how much he told himself otherwise, he would miss this. His denial of that fact was the only way he could do what he had to. He tried staying…leaving was all that was left for him. I won't miss this. The hole this decision had made deep inside him frayed a little. Packing his bags as his family ate dinner in the quiet bar to put more distance didn't help as much as he had hoped; he could still hear every word of their conversation float up the stairs to his room uninvited.

"Is Cloud okay?" Marlene's worried voice. He stuffed more clothes in his bag.

"Things are just hard right now, sweetie." Tifa's soothing words as she undoubtedly gave the little girl a hug, making excuses for him as always.

"But he has us." Denzel's words carried confusion, hurt and hint of resentment that made Cloud pause.

The silence screamed in things unsaid that needed to be said as the hole in his chest ripped a new thread away. He listened hard for Tifa's reassurance or at least change of subject. Instead, he was met with a stifled sigh holding a hint of a sob. That little sound and the throbbing internal pain that followed almost made him unpack his things and walk downstairs to join his family…his Tifa. Almost.

Cloud wasn't oblivious. He saw the change in their looks whenever he was in the same room; they knew he was different. He was a little less happy, a little less dedicated, a little less talkative, a little less of everything. _A little less of a man._ A little less.

"I won't miss this." He paced his room impatiently waiting for the others to go to bed and sneak out like the scared and doubting man he was left as after…

"I won't miss this!"

Saying the words aloud was meant to help but it brought little comfort as the sun set, stealing the light of this last day with his family. Night came quickly and he was thankful with a guilty sigh, just wishing to disappear into the shadows.

Even the creak of the floor boards under his boots brought a sad smile to his worn face. Cloud shifted the pack over his shoulder to try and lighten his footsteps, not liking the noise his boots echoed around him. The squeak of the door hinges made him flinch, slowing the motion as the hush of deep breathing was all that could be heard. Marlene squeezed her stuffed moogle to the point of strangulation if the poor thing had a pulse and Cloud chuckled softly, stopping his breath as Denzel rolled on his side facing the door. The boy's hair fell into his eyes as it tended to and Cloud forcibly ignored the instinct to take his hand and smooth it back into place as he has seen Tifa do countless times. The hole grew as he closed the door with a soft click.

_I won't miss this._

He contemplated walking right past her door and on into the night. He considered running by it to escape with some part of him left intact. But he couldn't do that to Tifa, his best friend and so much more…his Tifa.

Leaving his bag in the hall, Cloud took a deep breath in, holding it as he turned the doorknob and leaned slightly on the wood, not daring to take a step further as he watched her sleep. He finally let out the breath he was holding in to say one word.

"Tifa."

Her chest rose and fell softly, shifting the shadows strewn across her agile form from the intruding moonlight. His throat closed, thankfully not letting him say anything as she moved in her sleep, turning away. Cloud stepped into the room, unable to leave until he could face her again.

Tifa's face still shone serene deep in slumber and he sighed in relief, afraid she had turned away from him on purpose. No, she still didn't know he was there.

"I have to go."

He thought that telling her when she couldn't react was the best way but the truth was he was floundering, not knowing what she was thinking or feeling…if she even heard him. She snuggled into her pillow and he took that as a sign to move on.

"I'm sorry."

His gloved hand hovered above hers, tempting him to wake her up with his touch. He didn't know how he was still alive with such a gaping hole left where his heart used to be. Piece by piece it had been taken apart, the destruction of his home, Zack and Aerith's deaths, Tifa's tears as he left for SOLDIER. He couldn't see those tears again. He pulled back his hand out of reach. He had to leave.

"Cloud."

He made it as far as the door. He froze at the sound of her voice but couldn't look back, not now. _I won't miss this._

Turning to shut the door, he quickly glanced over to her bed and saw she had just said his name in her sleep. He didn't know if that made him want to sigh in relief or cry in despair.

Finished over thinking things and encouraged by numbness he was thankful for taking over, Cloud Strife grabbed his bags and left Seventh Heaven for what he planned was the last time. The only thing left of him was a note left on Tifa's end table. The only sign he allowed that he couldn't completely let go.

_Call me. _

He hoped she would.

As it was meant to be...The End


End file.
